I know of women who had no problems conceiving and felt depressed throughout their pregnancy. I know others who had many rounds of IVF and felt elated throughout their pregnancy. I always thought if we ever had a successful pregnancy that I’d feel so happy, as I did after my first few positive pregnancy tests. But, after 9 cycles of IVF, I’d almost successfully convinced myself that I was better off never having children and I needed to reset my brain once the pregnancy seemed to be going somewhere. I had consoled myself that it wasn’t going to happen and that it was better that way because A) Maybe I wouldn’t be any good at it  B) We had a great life and were happy together – maybe babies would ruin this….

So once we got the good news, this negative thinking that I’d spent time cultivating wouldn’t just go away overnight. I was smiling on the outside and felt incredibly grateful but also doubted myself and everything about this pregnancy. I felt guilty that I had these thoughts and beat myself up even more. I knew I had to do something so I decided to arrange counselling to talk through and felt sure I’d need to attend throughout the pregnancy. But after only two sessions of CBT I felt so much better and managed to completely change my thinking, most of the time anyway, though of course I still had some low moments and doubts.

Read more about how a woman’s mental health can be most at risk during pregnancy in this article.